What would Gran Turismo 7’s best cars look like if Kirby were eating them?

What would Gran Turismo 7’s best cars look like if Kirby were eating them?

Gran Turismo 7 launches on March 4, and driving simulator aficionados are asking themselves a burning question: What would the game’s beautifully rendered cars look like if Kirby were eating them? You haven’t seen it, but they are certainly wondering this.

That’s because Kirby and the Forgotten Land also launches in March and debuts its new sucker: Mouthful Mode. This was memorably demonstrated with the pink fluff inhaling a car and taking its form in the most adorable form of body horror I’ve ever seen. That same car is probably in Gran Turismo 7 (it has a billion vehicles, so the odds are in my favor), meaning these games are a match made in… somewhere.

That’s why I took the liberty of seeking out some of the best GT7 cars (I think) to let Kirby eat them, thus quelling our collective curiosity once and for all. Yes, this is what I have chosen to spend my work hours on rather than something productive. I’m coming with you. I know nothing about cars or car culture. But I’m sure hardcore Gran Turismo fans will have a easy gang who likes light-hearted, humorous angles to their favorite racing franchise. This one is for you.

Each entry has a photo of the car and a professional rendering of Kirby eating it. Click the arrows in each photo for an incredible before-and-after!

Alfa Romeo 8C 2900

Aside from revealing that “Alfa Romeo” is a great name for indie wrestlers, I love the stylish design of this car. Namely its elongated snout/hood. You’d think Kirby would have a hard time getting that down his throat, but surprise! He manages just fine, and the Alfa Romeo is better because of it.

Alpine Vision Gran Turismo 2017

Apparently this is not a real car and only exists in the Gran Turismo games. That’s fine; Believe it or not, Kirby isn’t real either. Since the cockpit has shifted to the right, I thought Kirby would follow suit by placing his peepers in the corresponding position. I think this makeover proves that if the Alpine Vision is ever manufactured, selling it with a Kirby-themed car trim would have units flying off the assembly line.

ABARATH 1500 Biposto Bertone BAT 1’52

The Abarath has a name a mile long and an unusual face with three headlights. Kirby, showing his adaptability, would simply migrate his eyes independently to the left and right lamps, making him resemble a gelatinous hammerhead or something. I bet he also exudes a comforting pink glow when you turn on that trio of lights. Who doesn’t want their luxury vehicle to go Super Saiyan Rose

BAC Mono 2011

I actually know this car because it was my primary vehicle in Forza Horizon 5† Sorry, I’m told that for some reason it’s very shocking for fans to pronounce the ‘F’ word in the same breath as Gran Turismo. The BAC Mono has a unique body shape and is arguably the world’s most expensive trip hazard due to its low position on the road. The way that pointy chair protrudes through Kirby’s shape looks painful, but I think the marriage is mutually beneficial otherwise.

Delorean DMC-12 2004

Hey, another car I recognize! The world’s most famous time machine (sorry, doctor who fans) looks even better with a layer of conscious pink fondant over it. Where Kirby is eating, he doesn’t need roads! That doesn’t make much sense, but I really had a Back to the future quote, guys.

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Ferrari 330 P4 ’67

All I know about Ferrari are the strict rules that dictate what you can do with it. Basically, the company prohibits owners from modifying or tampering with the vehicle in any way in the name of preserving its purity, I believe. Therefore, it would be very entertaining to witness the horror on the face of a Ferrari enthusiast when Kirby drools over any of these things. However, Kirby still shows some respect by leaving the Ferrari decal uncovered. I like this particular model because it reminds me of Speed ​​Racer’s Mach 5. Kirby should also devour him and turn him into Racer Kirby or something.

Lamborghini Lambo V12 Vision Gran Turismo

I know I said I don’t do anything with cars, but I had no idea Lamborghini made Batmobiles. Another concept car, who knows when and whether we can tour in such a thing. Kirby has only one question about this: will it come in pink?


Now that I’ve painfully squeezed every drop of juice from this stupid premise, which of Gran Turismo’s luxury cars would you like to see Kirby absorb into his pink form? On a scale from “a little dumb” to “disturbingly moronic,” where does this article rank? Share your polite thoughts in the comments below!

Burak Bilginer
Burak Bilginer bir bilgisayar dahisidir. Seyahat etmeyi sever ve birçok farklı ülkeye gitti. Burak, seyahat etmediği veya programlama yapmadığı zamanlarda Oyun ve Teknoloji Ürünlerinin yeni parçalarını incelemeyi sever. Oyunla ilgili herhangi bir sorunuz varsa, Burak cevaplamaktan mutluluk duyacaktır!